how the fuck is is august..?

wooooo i must be bored

ima go ahead and say what happend the past....2 days...cause i dont feel like backtracking and that will be hard enough yo.

Adam n Britney decided that me n Julie would enjoy going to the carosel in Akron to watch a play, so all 4 of us went. I must say i enjoyed dressing up in my suit because i always feel like a badass. Me n Adam pretty much outdresed everyone there in our 5 thousand dollar suits..thats 5 thousand each by the way..bitch. Beginnin of the play, which was Buddy Holly, me n Julie were ready to kill ourselves but then it got really good, and i got to meet a retard in the bathroom that digs punk rock.

After that i was supposed to go to Lou's Graduation party, but after fencing and dueling with lightsabers in our 5 thousand dollar suits i couldnt find anyone to give me n julie a ride to north lima...i was really pissed and felt bad that i couldnt go...but then we found some kickass bud and the rest of the night was prolly fun.

Next day i woke up at fuckin 7pm...n i went over joes..we went to applebees with his mom cause she cleaned there...fuckin idiots leave a stocked kitchen and BAR alone with 3 yeah that was fuckin sweet since we smuggled out like 50 dollars worth. Then julie n britney popped up...and we colored and what not. Ah THen everyone passed out but me cause im sweet like that....n we went swimmin at wallaces in the morning....then i came home n passed out

but seriously how the fuck is it is so fucking close

more importantly who the fuck is reading this if its not in my profile anymore..wooo i feel stupid
  • Current Music
    40oz To Freedom-Sublime

oh wow

has been quite long since i wrote in this thing

i do wonder if anyone will read this oh well

summer is fuckin bitchen...

i have had the most fucking horrible things happen to me lately, but i care not, for i have not been in a normal state of mind since the bell rang for summer. I have been living day by day waking up and having no fuckin clue what happened the night before. Everything is so fuckin horrible but i dont really have the ability to ponder it so its all good.

My mind is still somewhere around december and i keep forgeting how half a year has gone by...isnt that bitchin homie? Only not really cause its summer and i'd rather be anywhere but right meow. Thats a mighty shitty feeling. Tis amazing that a person who cares about no one but himself can fuck him self over so many times in a row. dfgnjkdsxngjkdsgn

but anyways aside from all the bullshit my friends are the shit

martin lit himself on fire last night
frank can apparently piss stand sleep n snore all in one action
me and chris got caught gankin shyte but because we have lied together since 6th grade had the ability to bitch the manager till he told us to leave
WoW Pwns you

and you should go kill yourself because your not cool enough to be my friend
  • Current Music

holy shit..

so yeah...before spring break i was like all crappy n such..but now its like wow..urrything pwns hardcore

first day of spring break i got crunk somewhere in canfield after paintballin shit..then i got home at like 2 am.

friday i went over francos for beer pong and i got trashed off my ass..i woke up in my car at 7:30 am no idea where i was

saturday is the day i believe frank fell completely into the river by his house..and i about pissed myself laughin

sunday i uh..wandered around with joe frank n vince..we were all pretty screwed yeah

monday i took joe bakc in the woods cause it was crazy...and i showed him all the cool spots and the gator spot..then we got enchilladas

tuesday was insane..i took frank back tot he gator spot and we fucking kicked the shit outta it..but hte alligator got we went to meet up with lou

wedesday me vince joe n frank like..wandered around and n frank chased a racoon and it fuckin hissed at us..i cant rmeember anyhting after that

thursday was mother fucking 4:20 and i fuckin loved it..i began at 12 at night...then at 4:20 am and passed out woke up and went over joes, hung out with joes dad mwahaha, uhh..then we went to like caribou and duffy got me ciggys..theen we went to go find zombie land but i only had like 1/8th a tank of gas so we turned back..then we fucking saw someone get joke...then we passed out in my car, on my back porch, and finally at 8 am in my living room..4 fuckin 20 love

friday i uh got lou to pick me up and we went to the mall n got Vamp cause i crave that shit now..then me n vince got stuck at the KOC with no fuckin we called andrew and went to perkins...then lou dropped us off at joes and we hung witht him and his dad...then i went home..woo

saturday vince came over..then matt picked me up and we got tacos and perkins..then i went to fuckin section 8 to look fer john but i couldnt find i left...then boomre picked us up and we went to a diner..and shyte...then i came back home and played WoW wahooo

spring breka fucking rocked..i just wish i could rmemeber it
  • Current Music
    Flyleaf-Fully Alive

fucked up

life has never felt so pointless

weekends coming up and for once i dont give a fuck

i have nothing
i want nothing
i am nothing
  • Current Music
    Nirvana-About a Girl

To live by circumstance, once again


i wonder why i hardly ever write in here anymore, it used to entertain the fuck out of me, perhaps nothing is interesting enough to talk about anymore

i dont feel like im in controll of my life anymore, and its one of the most annoying things that has ever happened to me. I keep unintentionally dicking myself over left and right. Bad luck does not even begin to describe it. Im basically waiting for my dick to fall off. Couple months ago i had everything. More than everything. Too much to know what to do with. That was the beginning of my downfall. but once again i have no one to blame but myself. myself and a little bit of shit luck. im not entirely sure why im writing in here since the one person who reads it probably wont bother anymore. heh..stupid neal

so yeah what did i do this weekend..uhh thursday i went out with joe vince some cool freshmen named shaun adam n yeah i htink that was was fun..sorta..uhh friday was fun i went over the davansos with wallace n adam..hah landmines<3..n driving home was fun as well..yesterday i went over lou's then over his girlfriends house where i was randomly smacked in the face with depression and i passed im sitting here..yay for sundays...

i've found a new way to destroy my lungs
and i understand something an old friend told me 2 years ago
now that ive officially failed at resisting peer pressure
kudo's for being a weak person

im such an odd lil guy, i have not been completely single for somewhere around 3 years, you think i'd enjoy the break. nah..neal doesnt mix well with just such a dependent lil fuck

fuckin christ do i ever suck
  • Current Music
    Smashing Pumpkins-Crestfallen

(no subject)

well..i dont think its ever been this bad before
steadily steadily getting worse
and if it doesnt stop soon
i promise ill do something stupid


so i havnt updated in like a month..yeah

ive been in a persistent shitty mood...i dont feel like ranting but i wouldnt be surprised if i did by the end of this entry

so today i went to starbucks with erin after school n got coffee..then we went to the park and it was pretty hardcore so glad i get to see erin on weekdays now..god..

then later i picked up Brad and we went job hunting..i have about 20 applications and i dont feel like filling the fuckers out

Random Recent Facts:
1. i suck at guitar
2. i suck at singing
3. ill never start a band
4. i got my licence
5. i drove to the eastwood mall for some reason
6. ive played on 3 playgrounds in the last week
7. i may get my lip pierced soon
8. louie fucked a couch
9. valentines day with erin was one of the most amazing days ive had in a long time
10. ive been listning to seether non-stop
11. i HATE my classes
12. vince does not smell like fish
13. tracy threw a watermelon out of my moving car
14. joe is not an artist
15. erin in fact likes coffee
16. i cant wait till summer
17. ive been visiting the fluffy room 2-3 times a day
18. tracys kitty is metally retarted but the cutest thing ive ever seen
19. im randomly obsessed with seether
20. i just watched a really strange Cobain movie
21. storys of people trapped inside themselves with the help of drugs facinate the fuck out of me
22. really makes me think
23. ive been having deep thoughts lately
24. unfortunately i cannot remember any of them
25. im retarted
26. i hate you meow
  • Current Music





i love you =)

^i'd love to make that big multicolored and pretty...but im too stupid to figure that out

so yeah i havnt written in here for a long ass time...probably because my life sucks ass at the i have the worst schedule in school that i have ever had in my entire fucking life...everyday i want to kill myself

well like this weekend was alright...friday i went over louies for band practice..but everyone showed up late and we got basicaly nothing accomplished due to the fact that me and louie are the only ones that actually want this shit to yeah then everyone left and me and louis made a 1 am caffiene run which was pretty funny...however that failed and we passed out

saturday i went to barnes and noble with erin and then we walked around the park in the dark which is always fun because of how spooky it was...then we got haunted by the ghost of that birthday cake driver...lmao...after thizat she came over and we watched zoolander...lmfao i love that movie so much..."i can derilick my own balls"...then the video got fucked up n i was pissed...but yeah i was really really happy i got to see erin..cause i just love her that much..rawr

and today i wandered around with adam which rocked cause i havnt seen him in an insane amount of time...garr why am i losing like all my friends...its fucking horrible..i miss the summer so much..but anyways after a while vince showed up...and we made fun of some fruity kids and played with lighsabers

i fuckin love incubus
  • Current Music

Don't worry about me i'll be ok


lets was my weekend

friday i left school with louis and we went to visit the kittys at the pet store..and there was this one that pwnd..then we went to guitar center and looked at amps n shit..theeen we went over his house..then over mine..then to some concert in poland and met up with emo john tracy n amanda..and the bands there were fucking we all left n went to burger king..and me and tracy went to giant eagle...that was a pretty stupid idea...thennnn me n louie left..

then saturday i woke up at 4..and met erin at caribou...i could go for a vanilla cooler right meow actually...but yeah..then we went over my house and watched family guy..then we went for a walk in the cold haha...ah!! then erin made me this thingie..and yeah its the best thing in the world..doot erin's sick awe..=(

and today i got a new amp..i fuckin love it..finally i get a functional amp

louis and i are starting a band...
and possibly frank on drums with vince on bass

they shall call us...blackcard


sometimes i think your the only one that getsh me live journal
your my bestht friend
  • Current Music

I was too blinded to see, how much you've stolen from me.


so yeah my break has been interesting

i hate christmas with a pasion and im not entirely sure since i never used to have a problem with it...december friggin sucks as well...worst month ever..expecially if u listen to the song My December i dunno what ive been up to...sittin on my lazy arse doing nothing mostly...cept one night i went out with erin and that rocked since i havnt been able to see her in a long time..then the other night i hung out with brenden and adam..and insanely funny shit happned...then me n brenden went over vinces and then got joe n frank...and it was a merry jolly good time...

and like i stole these

The Year 2005:

[P E O P L E]
1. Best friends? Vince, Louis, Adam, n such
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? Erin
3. Lost any friends? uhh..i dunno
4. Gained any friends? hells yeah
5. Met a new good friend? yep

[P L A C E S]
1. Went out of the country? Canada
2. Moved? No
3. New school? No
4. How many times on an airplane? dunno a few
5. Road trips? dunno

[Y O U]
1. Have you changed?: yeah
2. New look? this year..i had medium length hair, then really long hair, then short hair, and now the wierd hair i have now
3. Any new addictions? not new
4. Biggest conflict this year? err iunno
5. Most depressed time this year? April-June

[L O V E]

1. Did you fall in love? yuss
2. Did you get heartbroken? no
3. Summer Love?: erin..?
4. How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year? 3 girlfriends
5. Favorite date? iunno

[S E A S O N S]

1. Favorite Season? Summer this year
2. Least favorite season? beginning of summer
3. Good birthday? hells yeah i saw kitties
4. Any snow this year? yeah
5. Highest temperature? iunno

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]

Snuck out- durr
Met a person who will change your life- well i wouldnt know would i
Kept your resolution- never made one
Got arrested- no
Had a first something- iunno mehbe
Drank Alcohol- yes
Smoked weed/drugs- yes
Did anything illegal- yes
Kissed a boy/girl- Yes
Had a crush- yeah
Liked someone who didn't like you- no...mwahahha
Lost a family member- No
Got bad grades- yes
Got suspended- No
Moved states- No
Got a myspace- yeah
Started a band- i wish
Spent over 1 million dollars- No
Went streaking- lmfao yes
Done something you shouldn't have- yess
Kept a secret- Yes
Told a secret- dunno
Done something you totally regret- Yeah
Changed your view on things- Yes'm


Name: Neal
Birthday: 11/25
Birth place: Pittsburg
Current Location: Boardman
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: Black
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: sagitarius

Your heritage: stufffff
What Shoes Did You Wear Today: vans
Your weakness: iunno
Your fears: not entirely sure
Goal you'd like to achieve: iunno

Your most over-used phrase:"god damn!"
Your thoughts when first waking up: "ugghh"
Your best physical feature: heheheheh...
Your bedtime: late
Your most missed memory: too much shit

Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds fries bk's burgers..pwnd
Single or group dates: can be fun though
adidas or Nike: neither
Lipton Tea or Nestea: either
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: iunno

Smoke: no
Cuss: yes
Single: no
Take a shower: Yeah
Have a crush(es): no
Think you've been in love: mhm
Want to get married: chyeah when im older
Believe in yourself: at times
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're a health freak: no
Get along with your parents: no
like thunderstorms: fuck yeah!
Play an instrument: guitar

Drank alcohol: yes
Gone on a date: Yes
Gone to the mall: yes
Been on stage: no
Eaten Sushi: yes
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: No
Gone skinny dipping: No
Dyed your hair: No
Stolen anything: yes

Played a game that required removal of clothing: yess
Gotten beaten up: no
Changed who you were to fit in: No

Age you hope to be married: like late 20's
Numbers of Children: ew, none
Describe your dream wedding: iunnooo
How do you want to die?:in a sword duel in new zealand
What do you want to be when you grow up:a rock star..ajjajajaja
What country would you most like to visit: germany

Best eye color?: blue, then green
Best hair color?: black
Short or long hair: long
Height: doesnt matter
Best first date location: somewhere different
Articles of clothing: creepy stuffs
Best first kiss location: yeah definetly me and erins

Number of people I can trust:4
Number of CD's I own: iunno
Number of piercings: 0
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times been on T.V.: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:heheheh..charmins

this year u....
() stayed single
() got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
() made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
(x) kissed in the snow
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
() had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else's heart
() had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
() questioned your sexual orientation
() came out of the closet
() gotten pregnant
() gotten someone else pregnant
() had an abortion
() gotten married
() had a divorce
() had a gay marriage
() kissed someone of the same sex
() dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted (relationship-wise)
() lost your true love
() lost faith in love
() kissed under miseltoe


() got a promotion
() got a pay raise
() changed jobs
() lost your job
() quit your job
() dated a co-worker
() dated your boss
() dated your boss' daughter/son
() got fired from your job
() got straight A's
(x) met one teacher you really like
(X) met one teacher you really hated
() found the subject you love
() failed a class
() cut class
(x) skipped school
(x) got into a fight with a classmate (verbally)
() did something you were proud of
() gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot.
() embaressed yourself in front of the class.
() fell in love with a teacher
() got lead in the school play
() made a varsity team
() were involved in something you'll never forget


() painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
() ran a mile
(X) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
(X) went to a sleepover
() went to camp
() threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
() visited a foreign country
(x) visted a foreign state
( ) cooked a disasterous meal
(x) lost something important to you.
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
(x) dyed your hair.
()someone close to you died
(x) went to a party
(x) drank alcohol
(x) drank alcohol underage
(x) got drunk
() got arrested
(x) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
() saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
() saw your favorite band/artist live
() saw someone famous in person
() did something you want to tell everyone
(x)Enjoyed this year overall

** Ultimately Fun Long Survey! [Tons of Questions] **
... Basic Questions
First Name?: friggin neal
Middle Name?: lynch
Age?: 16..i wonder why erin never puts her age..::ponders::
Birthday?: November 25th
Where do you live?: Ohio
Where were you born?: PA
Who do you live with?: my parents
How many siblings do you have?: 0
Pets?: rocky the dog
Grade at school?:10th
Where do you go to school?: mooney
Hair color?: black
Hair style?: iunno
Eye color?: brown
Ethnic background?: eskimo
Do you play any sports?: no
If so, which ones?:
Do you play any instruments?: yes
If so, which ones?: guitar
Height?: no clue
Weight?: 160
Do you look like anyone famous?: jessica simpson
Any nicknames?: no
Do you like your name?: It's ok
If you could change it, what would you want it to be?: i'd have ppl refer to me as the pumpkin king
Any talents?: i used to have talents
Do you have a cell phone?: yes
If so, which kind?: iunno
What is your ringtone?: aerials
... Some of your favorite things
Movie?: Nightmare Before Christmas, The Wall, LOTR
TV Show?: south park, aqua teens
Actress?: kate beckinsale
Actor?: my bunghole
Comedy movie?: waiting
Romantic movie?: nightmare haha! corny romance
Historical movie?: iunno
Music Genre?: stuff with a guitar
Band?: manson, soad, dope, disturbed
Singer?: manson
Song of all time?: iunno
Dance song?: die mf die..hehe
Rap song?: iunno
Pop song?: Uhm..Kelly Clarkson kinda rocks<--i agree
Country song?: no
R&B song?: iunno
Store [non-clothing]?: spencers
Store [clothing]?: iunno
Clothing brand?: lip
Couture designer?: uh..
Outfit to wear?: iunno
Underwear?: <3
Shoes?: vans
Shoe brand?: idk
Place to go?: i dunno fag!
Vacation spot?: the mountains are pretty cool
City?: Chicago
Animal?: wolf, moose, kitty
Candy?: idk
Food?: sushi
Holiday?: Halloween
Month?: idk...Octobr
Car?: idk
Thing to do on the weekend?:be with erin, party, and sleep
Sport to watch?: skateboardin
Sport to play?: skateboardin
Subject in school?: iunno
Book?: IT
Author?: king
Color?: black..
Cartoon?: south pizark
Artist?: iunno
Disney movie?: dunt know
Disney princess? (haha): silly erin
Quote?: iunno
Inspirational figure?: spongebob squarepants
Era in time?: dunno..not now
... Time for a small break... LIST THINGS
--> 10 Things you can't live without
10]: sex
9]: powerade
8]: sushi
7]: cheesecake
6]: online role playing games
5]: alchohol
4]: drugs
3]: my girlfriend
2]: guitar
1]: music
--> 9 Songs That Describe your life
9]: "I'm Too Sexy for my Shirt"
8]: "So Cold"-Crossfade
7]: "Always"-Dope
6]: "ATWA"-System of a Down
5]: "Mechanical Animals"-Marilyn Manson
4]: "My December"-Linkin Park
3]: "Today is the Day"-Dope
2]: "Spiders"-System of a Down
1]: "The Minute of Decay"-Marilyn Manson
--> 8 Of Your Favorite Songs
8]: Forgotten-LinkiN Park
7]: ATWA-System of a Down
6]: Stricken-Disturbed
5]: The Minute of Decay-Marilyn Manson
4]: "Blue"-APC
3]: "Die MF Die"-Dope
2]: "Spiders"-System of a Down
1]: "Tourniquet"Marilyn Manson
--> 7 Of Your Best Friends
7]: Vince
6]: Louis
5]: Adam
4]: Matt
3]: Boomer
2]: Tracy
1]: Brenden
--> 6 Things You Always Wear
6]: nail polish
5]: fishnet gloves
4]: bondage bracelet
3]: barbed wire bracelets
2]: dickies
1]: Ball necklace
--> 5 Of Your Favorite Movies
5]: Nightmare Before Christmas
4]: The Wall
3]: Sin City
2]: LOTR
1]: Underworld
--> 4 Things You Could Always Eat
4]: sushi
3]: chinese
2]: iunno
1]: wet Burritos
--> 3 Things You'd Do With A Trillion Dollars
3]: sex
2]: drugs
1]: rock n roll
--> 2 Of Your Goals
2]: write a book
1]: start a decent band
--> The Most Important Thing To you
1]: dunno
** A little bout your love life
Are you single?: No
If not, who are you dating?: Erin
Sexual preference?: straight
IF you aren't single, how long have you been takent?: 7 months almost
How many boy/girlfriends have you had?: uh..8ish
Have you kissed the same sex?: no
Have you kissed the opposite sex?: yah
Are you a virgin?: no
How far have you gone with the opposite sex?: uh
How far have you gone with the same sex?: one time me and louie..nvm
Most romantic memory?: hm.
Where would you want to be taken on a date?: iunno
Best romantic gift you've ever gotten?: this awesome ring im wearin
Roses or chocolates?: iunno
Worst ex?: iunno..they all kinda suck
Best ex?: patti's pretty cool
** Some time for snobbery - Brag bout yourself!
Do you have a cell?: yes
What kind? (even though we asked before!): iunno
Do you have a computer?: yes
What kind?: iunno
Most expensive pants?: i hve cheap pants biach
Most expensive purse?: iunno
Most expensive shirt?: 30 maybe
Do you drive?: sorta
What kind of car do you have?: tiburon
Are you smart?: no
What kind of grades do you have?: s'not good
What cool electronics do you have?: psp, ipod
Do you have an MP3 player?: yeah
What kind?: ^
** Random questions
What's your screen name?: nostalgicxdecay
What was your first sn ever?: CoolMe25 bitches
Do you use AIM, MSN or yahoo?: AIM
How many kids do you want to have someday?: none
What would you name them?:
Do you want to get married?: yes
Where do you want to live?: nyc
What do you want to study in college?: iunno
Do you do drugs?: yeah
Worst drug you've ever done?: the ones where i woke up in the mornin goin wtf was that?
Do you drink?: yess
Do you smoke?: no
Best concert you've been to?: manson '04
Trademark saying of yours?: iunno
Favorite quote ever?: iunno
Do you like to dance?: i like to mosh
Color you think you look best in?: black
If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be?: i like my hair color
Any piercings?: i wish
If so, where?:
Any tatoos?: no
Where & What?:
If you dont have any, do you want a tatoo?: yeah man
What kind?: bunch of em
Do you like to party?: aw hell yeah
Do you have any video game systems?: yeah
Favorite video game?: iunno
How many DVDFs do you own?: uh
Do you own any TV seasons on DVD/: no
If so, which ones?:
What's the first pet you ever had?: hampster
Favorite grade in school?: 9th
Most missed memory?: bunch
  • Current Music
    System of a Down-Spiders